


꿈 (dream)

by licity



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: 4am draft but that's canon, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Confusion, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of confusion ig?, M/M, Oneirophobia, Panic Attack, Sharing a Bed, Slight Flashbacks, sorry I'm bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/licity/pseuds/licity
Summary: oneirophobia is the irrational fear of dreams. someone suffering from this condition can expect to experience a very high amount of anxiety from merely thinking of dreams, let alone actually having them.or.seungjun is too lost in thoughts to sleep. however, he's suddenly distracted by hyojin's cries.
Relationships: Kim Hyojin/Lee Seungjun | J-Us
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	꿈 (dream)

**Author's Note:**

> ah, hello! ... so this is my first work here and i struggled a lot to turn my 4am draft into something and post it so forgive how weak it actually is lol also english isn't my first language so please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes!!

hyojin was an absolute distraction to him.

and for once, it wasn't even about the godlike appearance that caused people to fall for hyojin and stalk him on daily basis left and right which caused the poor boy to always run his way home.

 _“and once they have to withstand what's inside me, they all tend to run for their lives.”_ hyojin told him back the day they held their first decent conversation; while being forced to spend the rest of the highschool day sitting on dirty stairs of that so-called wreckage.

first, hyojin was a new special red feather toy hanging above seungjun's head, bringing curiosity out of him. he was just like a fading blinking star in that vast ocean of skies. he was just as fascinating, as sick and twisted, as exotic, as untouched. 

but then, things got worse.

as seungjun's inquisitiveness started to grow along with him, he suddenly found himself pointlessly thinking of his new red-haired best friend every day and night. the exquisite point was how he didn't seem to even want to let go of that massive amount of questions he had to carefully dust off and carry around every day.

seungjun's nosy mind had been empty ever since he began to slowly get to know himself. no matter how much effort he'd put into that, a pesky blank space would always appear to piss him off. 

peculiarly, hyojin had the leverage to take his whole mind over.

trying to govern the desire and ongoing chaos on his brain, he attempted to kind of deny everything, including each character of those doubts he wanted to ask hyojin about but constantly chose to swallow instead. still, many questions wandered on his mind whenever he got to see the boy. 

not long ago, after a disaster and nearly exposing himself, he gave up, made a deal with himself, and started to bury them all inside the never-ending fields of his thoughts. though, they always persisted in finding their way to knock on his door again.

he should've known from the start that those weren't something he could easily avoid and pass by.

he yearned for knowing about those mysterious used paper bags he found back when he was searching in hyojin's backpack for gums, or why he'd set a reminder himself to breathe, or whatever frightened such an intimidating person enough to hold the hand of his friend of 9 months before sleeping.

to seungjun, hyojin was the best and only friend he had. to hyojin, he didn't really know.

back to reality, the sudden realization of how pitiful the situation he generated crossed his mind again, enough for him to pause breathing and chuckle into the drowning silence.

_“I'm drowsy and much drunk, hyung. can't we just head home?”_

blankly staring into the invisible surface, he remained to talk to himself. “you came up with the most ridiculous excuse you had, didn't you?"

only the flashbacks of those silly words he put together were reasonable for his ears to start growing red out of embarrassment.

seungjun sighed yet again, tilting his head to monitor the only source of light in the room: the lightning bolt table lamp that shined on his nightstand. 

the flicker shined on hyojin's emotionless sleeping face. seungjun found himself watching the triangle of moles on his cheeks.

he swiftly veered and peaked at the digital clock hanging on the unseen wall in front of him. it was already half-past three, and his overworking brain was doing a wonderful job at keeping him awake. 

he peeked at hyojin's hand in his. there it goes. another stupid question.

“and why would he believe me?”

he faked a cry. moving his sweaty palm a little. seungjun squeezed his tired eyes shut, just to widen them and let out another cry. 

“he’s such a nerd. there's no fucking way.” a noise made by how hard he slammed his other hand into his face echoed through the room, followed by an "ouch". 

“jun?–”

seungjun flinched as he heard of hyojin's voice; a distraction that made him lose the firm grip he held on the thread of his countless thoughts.

brunette's name was barely shaped on hyojin’s dehydrated lips. he wondered if hyojin heard him, or that mayhaps his silent self-conversation wasn't that noiseless at all and woke the other up.

unexpectedly, younger's quiet room was filled with broken echos of hyojin’s whimpers and the rapid short gasps, which finally made seungjun feel some kind of alarmed. hyojin's feverish fingers held tighter into him.

seungjun afforded him an obscure stare in confusion.

“are you okay?” he nervously let go of hyojin's hand to pull the blankets away and crawled closer to hyojin at the other edge of his bed.

“where is seungjun–” and seungjun thought about how hyojin sounded like he was crying for help.

he moved to another side of the bed, slowly topping hyojin's body to keep a hand on his shaking torso. his eyes widened, confirming that hyojin was panicking out of nowhere.

hyojin dealing with anxiety was something anyone who made friends with the senior would realize by spending a maximum of two days with him. luckily, seungjun had never seen him panic before. unluckily, what was happening would be the last scenario he could've made up on his mind.

the younger signaled hyojin by getting a touch of his jawline, the bone was standing out even more due to how hard he clenched his jaw. “i'm here.” seungjun softly mumbled.

hyojin seemed relaxed for a moment. afterward, his hands started wandering the swallowing darkness to hold into what seemed to be seungjun's wrist. seungjun laid down to decrease the space between their faces. he wanted hyojin to feel his breath against his skin.

wanted to give him a strong point.

or, he was just getting too brave.

“talk to me,” gulping his fears alongside his saliva, he murmured “jinnie?” 

the cries he got in response terrified him.

_“it's just one night, my parents are okay with that too! i'm not a child or something at all.”_

seungjun didn't really see hyojin panicking into his arms at almost four when he suggested staying at his place, held hyojin's wrist, and frequently nagged to distract him from being aimlessly dragged into the streets he had never heard of before.

"come on, here, come here.” hyojin's body temperature had changed upside down. the boy laid next to him, landing him a helping hand and pushing the crying figure into his arms. “i'm not leaving you,” a kiss landed on hyojin's forehead. “try to breathe with me, okay?”

_“kissing his forehead? are you aware of whatever the fuck you're doing?“_

seungjun rolled his eyes at that sound of a casual voice inside his head, slowly tapping on the shoulders of the hostage he was holding into his embrace. the act was meant to be a treat of consolation. he had no intention of how it felt to hyojin, but it was all he could do.

he swallowed and stared at the wall he was facing. speechless would be the only word to define what he was feeling, it was too hard for him to concentrate on his choice of words and think about how he could comfort hyojin. 

even during such a disaster, his questions wouldn’t leave him alone anyway. 

he stared down “how are you feeling?” hyojin responded by gripping into the silk fabric of his dark blue pajamas. “shall i get you some–i don't know– water?”

“no,” the noise he made from the end of his throat was wet, almost mute. seungjun heard it since they were holding into each other too close.

it almost felt like they were trying to become one.

hyojin's fragile body was fully hugged in the tender arms of that one whipped friend of his.

_as he expected?_

hyojin kept on tightly pressing his eyes together. he was being dumb enough to think that the action could make the thoughts go away. 

heavy exhales were the only clear rhythm that could reach their ears. they preferred to stay like that for a few minutes, just enough for hyojin's breathing to go back to being normal. just enough for his body temperature to match with seungjun’s. 

and as those happened in the background, hyojin's detested thoughts started rushing back and camping all over his mind again. the silence started turning into a discomfort, a huge, hungry figure of his fears.

“talk to me.” the redhead softly demanded. “to make me slightly forget about how the first time you witnessed me panic was when i was having my first sleepover at yours.” hyojin wiggled in younger's arms, wrapped his arms around his waist to hug him back and subconsciously placed a kiss on his neck. it was considered as a welcome prize for him to start talking.

the other remained silent, staring into the ceiling.

that pissed hyojin off.

“hey, ask m–”

“no, i prefer the impact this silence is implying.” seungjun mumbled, calmly rejecting with the softest smile on his face. however, the darkness had the power to take it away from hyojin's almost blurry view.

he didn't really respond. just hummed something seungjun was dizzy enough to miss and clung to him again.

seungjun, in fact, almost froze every time, at every inappreciable touch of hyojin. it was strangely new to him. to them. he thought of how extra clingy hyojin had become, and how he would definitely either misremember or deny every word they exchanged the next day.

and it made seungjun hate himself even more, how he secretly yearned for more accidents in the future, just to have more of hyojin's heart to himself.

“promise me i'm not gonna dream again.” the request was answered with a loud chuckle. a hand was gently carded into hyojin's hairs. his eyelids were starting to feel heavy.

“i stupidly promise.” 

in purpose to calm hyojin down, seungjun resumed caressing his hair until the boy was finally fallen deep again. somewhat closer this time.

seungjun sighed, goofily smiling at the sense of hyojin's body nearby to his. new digits were sparkling on the clock now. the shining four and twos danced on the board to form 4:22, or what they called a "hyojin hour".

but honestly, he wouldn't want to waste the rest of the night pretending to forget everything and overthink how hyojin was taking over his life, again.

_“sleeping works like a reset factory to me. once i sleep, my day starts to fade away, and so does my memory. i don't want to sleep. i'm horrified to lose these memories of you.”_

but that one night, he specifically needed that rest factory he talked about before.

closing his eyes, he pressed hyojin to his chest tighter and wished for the blue dreams to wash the night away. at this point, he wouldn't really care to explain to his parents why he was sleeping with his new best friend all wrapped up in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading hehe please feel free to leave any feedback or critics! i'd be so happy to hear them <3  
> \+ this work might have prequels if i stop being so lazy-


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